Adventures in Amblyopia: Dealing with Jealousy

It's been quite awhile since I've done a post about our adventures with amblyopia, which makes me kind of sad.  So...I'm going to try really hard to get back on that boat.

The topic that's been most on my mind lately is that awful, green-lettered word: Jealousy.

My 3 year old is insanely jealous of his big brother.  Jealous that big bro gets to go to a special eye doctor.  Jealous that big bro gets to wear cool eye patches.  Jealous that big bro (and mom, and dad, and grandparents) gets to wear fun glasses and gets special attention for those said glasses.

So, my 3 year old loves anything related to eye wear.

Which kind of makes me laugh.  If only he knew there was absolutely nothing to be jealous of, AND if I could get my 5 year old to be half as interested in patching as his little brother was, my life would be a breeze!

In order to help him feel more like a part of the "in" crowd we found an old pair of glasses (left behind by one of my brothers, I think) and popped the lenses out so he could have his very own pair of glasses.  He wore these things for several days straight.  And he still keeps tabs on them; he wants to know exactly where they're at; maybe in case he needs them right away?  Who knows.  But it seems to have helped for the moment.

So my question to you is: have you had to deal with jealousy issues at your home with glasses and/or patching?  How did you handle it?

Things I've Learned...

About Being a Mother of 3.

Everybody tried to warn me.
"If you can handle 3, anything more than that is cake."
"3 kids is SO much harder than 2".
"My third child totally rocked my world".
"It took me an entire year to adjust to having 3 kids".

And now, only 4.5 weeks into life with three children, I can definitely say it is more of a challenge.

Don't get me wrong.  This little beauty is more than worth it.

But, as a person who dwells on structure, schedules and plans, 

this new life of, well, absolute chaos, is throwing me for a serious loop.

There is yet to be any planning for anything.  There is absolutely no structure.

And every.single.time I try to schedule anything, it blows up in my face.

So, here is my advice to any of you who are contemplating adding your third bundle of joy

(although I think it could be useful for any addition to your adorable little families!).

1.  Know that it is going to be hard, and then take it easy on yourself.  My biggest frustration was my complete inability to move past the "difficulty" of having 3 kids, and not being able to figure it out within the first 3 weeks of Little Miss' life.  I'm still trying to let go of the fact that I don't have it all together yet, and that in and of itself is making it easier for me.  Don't get me wrong.  I still feel like I'm losing my mind on a daily basis.  And my husband still occasionally comes home to find me in tears.  But.  I'm accepting the fact that for me, right now, that is okay.  (And it is!!)

2.  Allow others to serve you.  I am not one to ask for help.  Like EVER.  Nor am I one to accept it when offered.  I am more than happy to help anybody else in any way I can, but I'm more of a I-can-do-everything-by-myself-thank-you-very-much kind of girl.  But with this baby, I had absolutely no choice but to ask, and accept, the help of others.  Some days I feel like I have used and abused my girlfriends way beyond what is acceptable, but they are lovely and wonderful and never complain.  I have no clue what I would have done the last 2 months without some amazing girlfriends!!  It is OKAY to need help sometimes.  And it is more than okay to accept that help.  If people offer meals?  Take it!  And here's my biggest piece of advice: If they ask when you'd like that meal, ask them to wait until 3 or 4 weeks after you've had the baby.  Chances are good that you will have enough help immediately after you get home.  It's when life gets back to normal and there's no extra help around that those dinners that just show up will be a god-send.

3.  Sometimes, TV is okay for the "olders".  I hate letting my kids just veg in front of the tv.  HATE IT.  But sometimes, a momma's got to do what a momma's got to do!  If letting them watch TV allows me 30 minutes of quiet, "fighting/yelling/whining/destroying the house and/or begging for help" free time so I can feed the baby in peace, so be it.  Their brains aren't going to turn to mush.  And after 3 days (or more?  I sometimes lose count) of not getting a shower, another episode of Super Why is totally worth it.

4.  Take a time out for yourself!!  Walking half way around my block to check our mail is sometimes my favorite part of my day.  And if it weren't for that tiny activity, I could probably go for days without ever leaving my home.  But even that miniscule amount of time allows me a breath of fresh air, 30 seconds of silence and half a minute to shake the cobwebs from my head.  I love it when I manage to sneak in a long, hot shower at night too for the exact same reasons.  And if your kiddos are still away when you're sneaking that long, hot, shower?  LOCK THE DOOR.  

All that said, I absolutely LOVE being a mom.  I love and cherish my 3 little ones more than life itself.  I cannot imagine my life without any of them or the insanity that sometimes comes with them.  They are adorable.  They love me unconditionally.  And even though 3 is hard right now, I know that eventually, we'll get it all ironed out and I'll wonder what all the stress was for!

A Random Look into My Past Week

Just a few random photos/stories from the happenings around my house this week...

THIS is what happens when I'm trying to clean up raspberry applesauce out of the carpet in the hallway (Dont' ask. Had something to do with one little boy stealing another little boy's blue spoon, therefore leaving Boy B with no spoon?  I don't know.  There were two spoons on the table.  Why they needed to run their applesauce down the hallway is beyond me):

A 24oz bottle of Comet all over the kitchen floor.  Because Mom obviously wasn't A) frustrated enough at the red stains in the carpet and B) not busy enough cleaning those said stains out of the carpet and needed something else to do at that very moment. 

Luckily, I have an amazing husband, who, when he receives a phone call from his pregnant wife in tears over her already horrible day that had just become 100 times worse, leaves work early to take over cleaning and parenting duties.  Otherwise, those two little boys may still be sitting out on the curb.  (I will say, that as soon as David got home, my attitude improved greatly!  And, after consoling myself with some more ice cream and a good nights sleep, the next day was drastically better!  And no, I would never really put my children out on the curb).


This is one of the many lizards hanging out in our backyard this year.  He looks much smaller in this photo, but he is the length of my husband's hand...from thumb to pinkie.  He was very tame and calm, and almost let David catch him.   Almost.  That's okay.  I don't want and/or need two little boys figuring out that they can, indeed, catch the lizards if they really want to.

And this is my 20 week belly shot.  Had just rolled out of bed, so no hair.  No make up.  Pretty, right?  Anyway...so far this is still my "miracle" baby.  20 weeks and have still only gained 6 pounds.  My goal this go around is no more than 15.  And let it go on record, that if by some miracle, at the end of my 6 week recovery period I can end up weighing less than I did when I started this pregnancy, this WILL be my favorite child.  :)

There's our crazy week!  What went on at your house this week?

A Mother's Greatest Fear

Shortly after my youngest was born, I started having vivid nightmares of him being run over by a car.  He wasn't even walking then, but it still freaked me out.  He's now 2, walking/running everywhere, and I still have those same nightmares.  They still freak me out.

We've had a couple issues with him running off and running into the street or a parking lot.  Luckily, they've always been quiet streets, but we're still working to get the point across to him.  He thinks it's a game.  He loves the chase and just doesn't pay attention to where he's going.

I've always wondered in the back of my head if I would really throw myself in harms way for the sake of my child's safety and well being.  I know I always wanted to say I most definitely would, but I still kind of wondered.  Does that make me the worst mom ever?  Regardless.  Yesterday I learned, that without a doubt, I would do anything for the sake of my child's life.

Enjoying an afternoon of shopping with my sister and my children, in a split second, my youngest went from playing hide and seek with me in a rack of clothing to darting out the front door of the store, straight through two parallel parked cars and into the street - and oncoming traffic.  As I was yelling at him to stop; dropping my desired purchases on the floor and then screaming frantically at him as he ran into the street (and then dropping my purse, and it's contents all over the sidewalk), I was acutely aware of three things.

First of all, there was a car coming towards my son.  Secondly, there were dozens of people standing there just watching me.  Third?  I'm pregnant.  Not only was I risking my safety, but also the safety of my unborn child. My goal was to just get into the street fast enough for that car to see me.  I knew he wouldn't see my son.  Soon after I reached the street, I was able to grab my son's shirt collar and pick him up by it.  He was laughing hysterically.  I was shaking uncontrollably and was, again, acutely aware of everybody looking at me.  Heading back into the store to find my sister and older son, I had a couple of women ask if I was okay and give words of encouragement.  I greatly appreciated them!  I was so sure that everybody was just standing around judging my horrible parenting skills.  Once I found my sister, I crumbled.  Shaking, crying, and trying to scold my son who, at that point, finally seemed to notice the fact that I was crying and not laughing.

I keep finding myself questioning my parenting abilities, but I'm trying really hard to not let myself.  He is two.  He's quick.  I don't know what I would have done differently.  I do wish that just one of those dozens of bystanders would have tried to help in some way, but I'm trying to not judge them either.  It all happened so quickly.

Needless to say, this little man will not be walking on his own anytime soon.  He will be held, in a stroller or forced to hold somebody's hand; all of which he hates tremendously, for some time to come.  Most days, I love his strong-willed, independent, fearless personality.  But some days?  I wish he weren't quite as bold and fearless.  Right now I'm just glad we have more days to work on balancing it out!