Saturday, November 10, 2012

Things I've Learned...

About Being a Mother of 3.

Everybody tried to warn me.
"If you can handle 3, anything more than that is cake."
"3 kids is SO much harder than 2".
"My third child totally rocked my world".
"It took me an entire year to adjust to having 3 kids".

And now, only 4.5 weeks into life with three children, I can definitely say it is more of a challenge.
Don't get me wrong.  This little beauty is more than worth it.

But, as a person who dwells on structure, schedules and plans, 
this new life of, well, absolute chaos, is throwing me for a serious loop.
There is yet to be any planning for anything.  There is absolutely no structure.
And every.single.time I try to schedule anything, it blows up in my face.

So, here is my advice to any of you who are contemplating adding your third bundle of joy
(although I think it could be useful for any addition to your adorable little families!).

1.  Know that it is going to be hard, and then take it easy on yourself.  My biggest frustration was my complete inability to move past the "difficulty" of having 3 kids, and not being able to figure it out within the first 3 weeks of Little Miss' life.  I'm still trying to let go of the fact that I don't have it all together yet, and that in and of itself is making it easier for me.  Don't get me wrong.  I still feel like I'm losing my mind on a daily basis.  And my husband still occasionally comes home to find me in tears.  But.  I'm accepting the fact that for me, right now, that is okay.  (And it is!!)

2.  Allow others to serve you.  I am not one to ask for help.  Like EVER.  Nor am I one to accept it when offered.  I am more than happy to help anybody else in any way I can, but I'm more of a I-can-do-everything-by-myself-thank-you-very-much kind of girl.  But with this baby, I had absolutely no choice but to ask, and accept, the help of others.  Some days I feel like I have used and abused my girlfriends way beyond what is acceptable, but they are lovely and wonderful and never complain.  I have no clue what I would have done the last 2 months without some amazing girlfriends!!  It is OKAY to need help sometimes.  And it is more than okay to accept that help.  If people offer meals?  Take it!  And here's my biggest piece of advice: If they ask when you'd like that meal, ask them to wait until 3 or 4 weeks after you've had the baby.  Chances are good that you will have enough help immediately after you get home.  It's when life gets back to normal and there's no extra help around that those dinners that just show up will be a god-send.

3.  Sometimes, TV is okay for the "olders".  I hate letting my kids just veg in front of the tv.  HATE IT.  But sometimes, a momma's got to do what a momma's got to do!  If letting them watch TV allows me 30 minutes of quiet, "fighting/yelling/whining/destroying the house and/or begging for help" free time so I can feed the baby in peace, so be it.  Their brains aren't going to turn to mush.  And after 3 days (or more?  I sometimes lose count) of not getting a shower, another episode of Super Why is totally worth it.

4.  Take a time out for yourself!!  Walking half way around my block to check our mail is sometimes my favorite part of my day.  And if it weren't for that tiny activity, I could probably go for days without ever leaving my home.  But even that miniscule amount of time allows me a breath of fresh air, 30 seconds of silence and half a minute to shake the cobwebs from my head.  I love it when I manage to sneak in a long, hot shower at night too for the exact same reasons.  And if your kiddos are still away when you're sneaking that long, hot, shower?  LOCK THE DOOR.  

All that said, I absolutely LOVE being a mom.  I love and cherish my 3 little ones more than life itself.  I cannot imagine my life without any of them or the insanity that sometimes comes with them.  They are adorable.  They love me unconditionally.  And even though 3 is hard right now, I know that eventually, we'll get it all ironed out and I'll wonder what all the stress was for!


Jenny said...

Absolutely love this! You, me and Debbie should get together sometime and get the little girls together.

Kathryn said...

Your family is precious! Great tips and as a Mom of five I agree - it is hard for me to ask/accept help. I have learned that it can be equally gratifying to let others serve me just as I serve others! New follower from the mingle, would love a follow back.

Natalie Rush said...

This is great! We are due with #2 in April and I know it's going to be harder than 1 and we've talked over nad over if we'll ever have 3 but only time will tell. Thanks for sharing!


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